He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
