He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
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