He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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