Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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