he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Semen is not good for contacts.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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