What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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