My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
