yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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