ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
