I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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