Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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