What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
