no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
