to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
