I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
