Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I intend to get homeless drunk
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
