i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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