do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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