I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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