this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Randomize
