oh god the rape fog is back!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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