Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
