I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
