Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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