I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
two words...techno handjob
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
