I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
