Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
