I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
