He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
