I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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