He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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