Sry I called you an 8
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
