Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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