So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
