that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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