well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
