Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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