Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Sacagawea was the original milf.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
