yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
