i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
