Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
