let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
