She's JV to your varsity
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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