based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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