I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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