How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Even my vagina gasped.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
