I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
