If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
