Well apparently he's into motor boating.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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