The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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