so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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