I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
