We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
