Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
At least life still wants to fuck me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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