She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
