i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
