So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
