Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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