just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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