Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
