I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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